Slacking...

So it has been awhile since I last wrote.  Not intentionally, just haven't felt like talking. 

I do think I have made the decision to change Evie to formula during the day and stick with breastfeeding just in the evenings.  I enjoy the bond that we have through breastfeeding, but the pumping is a pain.  I am proud of myself for going this long and I am not stopping completely.  But I think that it will help me regain some of my freedom.  That is really a terrible way to word that because I feel honored to be able to provide for my daughter in this way, but I find myself stressing over whether I am able to produce enough and making sure to pump every 3 hours while at work.  Is that a cop-out?  It shouldn't be, because any exposure to breastmilk has benefits over nothing at all and there has to be a time to move on to the next stage.  But I still have that feeling that I am just being lazy.  Hmmph, you would think that as hard as I am on myself sometimes that I would have a rock hard body and accomplish everything I set my mind to.  Nope. 

Funny (wierd, not haha), that reminds me when I was about 17 and I wrecked my car while going to a party that I wasn't supposed to (well my parents didn't know about it) and I think my mom and dad took it easy on me because I was so disappointed in myself already. 

I think I have these feelings because they help me appreciate a job well done.  I just need to focus more on being positive and less on being negative.  No more Debbie Downer!!